JARM DEL BOCCIO, AUTHOR AND BOOK COACH
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A Writerly Blog

A Much Needed Rest

3/21/2024

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Fort Caswell https://fortcaswell.com/

Rest for the Weary of Heart


I came to a complete stop last week. I mean, a screeching halt. 

I was going like sixty in my writing career, doing all the things. Well, the things I thought I was supposed to be doing, or was told I needed to be doing by the wise writers of the world (WWotW). Those things included writing blog posts, newsletters, and devotions, attending writer’s conferences to pitch, network and learn (the latter I could do all day and every day, but I wouldn't have the chance to implement what I learned). And that's not to mention social media posts, and faithfully putting pen to the—I mean fingers to the keyboard. Every day! Oh, and looking for speaking engagements and creating courses and. . .

If even a couple of those things lead to furthering my career in some way (small connections, likes and comments on social media, a few reviews on Amazon, or big things like agent representation, a publishing contract or speaking engagement) I would know all my efforts were worth it. But in the last year, it's been crickets. In every case. Except one.

My top-of-the-wishlist agent asked me to do some rewrites last summer, and compile a list of 20 titles for my WIP she was interested in. She also wanted a detailed marketing plan showing all the ways I would get my book noticed, including possible speaking engagements. Although she wa sold on my book idea, her client list was full, and ultimately chose not to take me on. Now I've done the work and joined speakers groups I would never have considered.  I can honestly say in retrospect, I was grateful.

Yes. God is good. All the time.

Now, I’m thankful for all the writers (big name and small) I've come to know and follow. It's always been my policy to help them in any way I can. I share their stories, repost their images, join their launch team and review their books. And I must say, there is always growth in a small way in my writing career, but I'm not in my 30s anymore. Only God knows how many more years I have left on this earth. And I want them to matter. I want my words to leave a legacy. 
​
But I'm exhausted!!
Picture

I Need a Break!


I don't mean to be complaining (although I am). It's just that it's hard work to be an author. And I’ve been told that countless times. So it's no surprise. ‘Starving artists’ was not only a phrase used 250 years ago, but a reality today. Unless you are J.K. Rowling or Suzanne Collins, you cannot live on royalties alone. That's why many authors write courses, do school visits and are featured on podcasts.

Does that mean I want to give up?? Absolutely not!
Does it mean God is telling me to quit? I don't think so.
I know God has gifted me, so I want to be wise in using that gift.
Could it mean I need to take a rest? Yes!

And you know what? The thought occurred to me that maybe I'm taking it upon myself to market my books and find an agent without consulting my Heavenly Father. Talk about draining! Doing things in my own strength never works out for good. Especially as I age. 
Fort Caswell: Little Pier

Rest & Refresh


So, I'm going to REST and REFRESH. I'll take a break from social media posts and conferences—from feeling I need to perform—do all the things. This time, I will LISTEN—to God’s voice. I’ll ask Him what He wants me to do. I’ll wait for him to act on my behalf—to make the connections for me. ​ Just a few nights ago, when I was reflecting on my current situation, I reached out to the Almighty with tears. “Lord, what do YOU want me to do?” His answer came quite clearly (not audibly, but clearly): “Cease striving and know I am God.”  Psalm 46:10 NASB

That's it! I will rest, and let Him work on my behalf.

I'll go about my day calmer and more confident that my Heavenly Father is working behind the scenes. I will SAVOUR what He brings my way moment by moment without a heavy ‘to do’ list.  And maybe, just maybe, I smile a bit more.
The Rested Soul by Tessa Afshar

Speaking of rest, I am reading an advanced copy of The Rested Soul, and it's just what I needed. It's not your ordinary devotional. Each entry makes you stop and ponder, and I am touched with Tessa’s transparency here. You can preorder The Rested Soul today! 
Do you need a rest this season? In which area? Please let me know in the comments below so I can pray for you!
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What? No room?

12/17/2023

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​And Mary said, "Behold, I am the servant of the Lord; let it be to me according to your word." And the angel departed from her. Luke 1:38
Joseph and Mary began their long journey to Bethlehem with an old donkey, a basket of bread, and a flask of water. And, yes, a small bag of coins. Joseph hoped there would be enough to pay the taxes Rome required, with a small amount remaining for necessities along the way. The journey was long and arduous, extending over hills and across the river Jordan. Being close to delivering her baby, Mary found travel difficult as she bounced and joggled along on a scrawny, aging donkey. But walking would have been out of the question.

I can't even imagine what that would have been like. Creature comforts are usually taken for granted. But not for Mary and Joseph. It was a way of life. So, on with the story. . .

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An Unconventional Gratitude

11/24/2023

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A dead tree trunk at the San Antonio Botanic Gardens
Thankful for THAT???
This year, I’m going to be grateful for all the things I didn’t get or didn’t happen as I wished. And for the prayers God answered in the negative. I’m going to thank the Lord for the hard times — the low times — that knocked the wind out of me or caused me to slip and slide. I'll be grateful for those times I would categorize as disappointments or dead ends, and for people God surrounds me with who keep me humble — those who withhold praise, give criticism, or are uncomfortable to be around.

Why, you ask? Isn’t that a bit unorthodox? Or unconventional?

Yes. Well . . . No.

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Filling our lives with things that satisfy

8/26/2023

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Conference Point Camp

IS IT WORTH THE WORK? THINGS THAT SATISFY

I never would have guessed that a preschooler would teach me an important lesson about things that satisfy. This past July (and every July for the past 31 years) my hubby and I attended a family Bible Camp at Conference Point in Wisconsin. Our days were full of worship, good food, fellowship, and teaching from God’s Word. And of course there was fun in the sun— everyone’s favorite activity.

As I would rather be on the lake instead of in it, I was satisfied with a front-row seat on the beach where I could people-watch (one of my favorite activities). Kids and adults of all ages enjoyed swimming, diving, playing tag, sunbathing, and chatting. Some were floating on the surface of the water in an inflatable chair. 

However, only a subset of attendees were actually satisfied with working during their vacation, and I found that curious. It was the toddlers and preschoolers who were busy digging trenches and building forts, while the older crowd took it easy. One young girl, early on in her task, worked alongside two boys digging a long trench perpendicular to the beach. After a while, the boys got bored and left. But the girl? She soldiered on, like she was engaged in a marathon. Intent on her job, the tike journeyed to and from the lake, filling her bucket with water, pouring it into the trench and then padding back to the lake to fill it again. She must have made the trip 12 times before I lost count.

But what I did note was this: as soon as she'd turn to fetch more lake water the last bucketful would begin slowly seeping into the sand. So by the time she returned, the water had disappeared. 
Little girl filling a trench with buckets of water taken from Lake Geneva, Wi

FRUITLESS EFFORT TO SATISFY

I wondered how long it would take before she realized her efforts were fruitless—that no matter how many times she filled the trench, it would never hold water?

Well, soon after I contemplated this, she stopped at one point to examine her work, a puzzled expression forming on her face. I could just imagine her inner thoughts: “What happened to all that water? I know I poured lots in—where did it go?”

And then it happened. The realization was too much. So, with determination, she took a breath and threw the bucket on the sand, then stomped away. Ahh, the youngster finally understood. She had expended all that effort for nothing!
Picture

It was a lesson for me, too. How many times had I put energy into something I thought would satisfy, only to be disappointed? A new self-help book that will change my life. A pair of shoes with an arch the ads say will allow you to walk all day in comfort. Classic wicker furniture for our screened-in porch that will fit perfectly. A visit to a nearby tourist spot that promises good food and even better shops. 

In reality, the book is shallow and unhelpful. The shoes rub in the wrong places. The wicker furniture is too big for the spot. Most restaurants and shops in the touristy areas are closed on Sunday. 


And so on. . . 

REAL SATISFACTION

So what does satisfy? Really, only Christ can satisfy. He has made you and delights in you. He wants what's best and knows what's best for you. Pouring yourself into people and digging into and meditating on God’s Word will change your life. It will bring you peace and contentment. Here’s what the book of Isaiah has to say:
​Isaiah 58:11-12
“And the LORD will guide you continually
and satisfy your desire in scorched places
and make your bones strong;
and you shall be like a watered garden,
like a spring of water,
whose waters do not fail.
And your ancient ruins shall be rebuilt;
you shall raise up the foundations of many generations;
you shall be called the repairer of the breach,
the restorer of streets to dwell in.”
Wow! Can you think of anything more satisfying than to repair the breaches in this world? To restore relationships? To make a difference in people’s lives?

Each one of us has a sphere of influence that no one else holds. Start today—with a friend, a college student or a grandchild. Take them out for a treat. Offer to help them with a problem. Tell them they are in your prayers.

Invest in things that will last. Things that satisfy. Not stuff and meaningless activity, but people. It will renew your heart and give you a fresh perspective on life. 

​Begin today!
Can you think of one person to encourage or one ministry to engage in that will bring deep satisfaction to your soul? Let me know in the comments below. . .
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Rain will fall: how do you handle life’s challenges?

6/25/2023

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How do you handle challenging times by Jarm Del Boccio

Challenges are Sure to Come


“Into each life some rain must fall.” —Allan Roberts 

Yep, it’s true. No one goes through this world unscathed. Troubles are sure to fall like rain, whether we want them or not. So, if that’s the case, how should we respond?


​As far as I can tell, there are only three ways. (If you can think of more, please enlighten me in the comments). You can either resist them by pretending they don’t exist, fight them angrily (blaming others in the process), or accept them, letting the challenges wash over you, knowing that somehow, they will transform you into a better person. 
Leaf in the rain

Challenges Are For Our Good


​But, accepting them is not so easy, is it? We want to squirm out of them, side step them or squash them, right? If we are a child of God, though, we know He has a plan for our lives, and ultimately, our goal is to reflect our Father. ​

​Sometimes, He uses the ‘controlled burn’ to conform us. Just enough challenges to kill the wayward parts like impatience and jealousy, so new seed can grow into hardy plants that will bear a good harvest (remember the fruits of the spirit?)
Apple Orchard
Not only do trials make us more like Christ, but when we accept them and allow them to strengthen our faith, in the end, it will bring honor His name. Check out the verses below. ​. .
​1 Peter 1:6-7
So be truly glad. There is wonderful joy ahead, even though you must endure many trials for a little while. These trials will show that your faith is genuine. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold—though your faith is far more precious than mere gold. So when your faith remains strong through many trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world.
Occasionally, we are the reason for the hard times. I know I have used a harsh word in the past, or avoided the truth when asked. I’ve even been jealous or critical, which leads to discontent and depression. No one sees it, of course, but Jesus does. He knows what’s in my heart. And at times, it’s not pretty—and I’m sure it makes Him sad. ​

Challenges Make Us Stronger


How many of us pray for challenges and trials? Scary idea, eh? But, consider this--we can speed up our goal of being Christ-like by putting ourselves into a situation that requires trust in our Heavenly Father. When everything is going well, why would we need to call out to Jesus?

I have done this a few times in my life. Sometimes, it’s being brave to talk with and editor or agent about my latest project. Other times it’s stepping out in faith, literally, as I walk across a mile-high swinging bridge, or climb a ladder like the one below. You see, I’m afraid of heights. But I was determined to move forward in faith. And I’m glad I did!

I’m not sure if it’s my age (I’m less intimidated), or that my desire to be conformed to Christ’s image is front and center in my heart right now. That, too, could be due to my age, since I have more years behind me that ahead of me.

This nomad journey has at times been a challenge. My time isn’t my own. Neither is my space. And don’t even talk about the issue of mail delivery when we move every few weeks. It’s a nightmare! One thing is for sure. I will appreciate our townhome So, Much. More. when our nomad life is done.

Whoa. I just thought of something. After dealing with this earthly life and our sinful nature all our lives, it will be So. Incredibly. Amazing. to finally step into Heaven and know we are FINALLY HOME and free of all that hinders us!

​How have you seen God transform your struggles into something good? Let me know in the comments below!



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A Necessary Retreat for the Weary Writer

11/22/2021

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I had come to the point of exhaustion. I'd worked diligently to write, submit and connect. But nothing was moving. Was I truly meant to be a writer, or did I imagine it? I needed to get my head together — a clear vision for the road ahead. Was I only spinning my wheels?
Then, the opportunity to join the team for the first ever writer’s retreat at Mount Hermon Conference Center near San Jose, CA, presented itself. For years a stellar writing conference was held at that lovely wooded venue, but it was time to forge another path. Writers attend conferences often. It's a place to learn new skills, be inspired, practice the craft, create new connections and meet with publishers and agents. But a retreat is none of that. No busyness. No running to the next workshop, feverishly writing down notes that will be sure to translate into a published book. No feeling of panic as we meet with an industry professional.
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A Retreat means Rest and Refreshment

So what is a retreat? It's rest, refreshment, and time alone with God, finding your next right step in this sometimes frustrating journey towards authorship. And yes, it can be about connections—with fellow writers on the same path. But the main focus is to listen. What is God telling me about my next step? Your life? My relationship with Him? The great thing about the Mount Hermon Retreat was the freedom to choose where my focus would be. No pressure to attend any of the soul-care and craft sessions or gather with other like-minded writers. I could spend the entire weekend communing with my Creator on the many paths through the towering redwoods or pray along the labyrinth.
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Listening to God’s Voice

So, I listened. In the labyrinth. In the chapel. On the forest path among the towering redwoods, feeling quite small. And I found answers to three questions:

  • ​Do I continue submitting my MG historical novels, which have had no bites in year's, or do I continue to revise the three I have, hoping that someday, my genre will come back into popularity? (Historical fiction for kids is a hard sell these days. No magical or sci-fi elements.)
  • Do I continue with writing and submitting teen devotionals?
  • Do I begin my travel writing journey by sending queries and writing articles? (Even in Covid times, there are places to travel—yay!)

In the mix was an Instagram Makover class, Author Accelerator Book Coaching Certification course, and my newly joined Hope*Writers community. I assumed, since I purchase them, I needed to continue with the instruction and connection.

These are the answers I received:

  • ​No, stop submitting your MG historical novels, but continue to revise them.
  • Yes! Send in your second teen devotional, and if both are rejected, move on to something else.
  • Yes! As you travel, document your journey and query a few magazines.

I also had a pull (not totally surprising, since this is why I entered the writing field) towards memoir. I have lived an adventurous life, with ups and downs, challenges and disappointments. But God used those times to draw me to Himself.

He also made it clear as I contemplated my career in the chapel, that my words are like seeds sown in the world. Someday, they will grow to touch hearts with the truths of God's Word and eventually change lives. I can't do it, but He can—through me!
Have you taken time away for any reason to get your priorities in order? Or maybe you just needed a rest. Either way, we all need the opportunity to pull away from the busyness and listen. You'll be surprised what God will whisper in your ear.
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New Beginnings: The Way Home by Tessa Afshar

7/8/2020

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The Way Home by Tessa Afshar

I am so honored once again to be a part of Tessa Afshar’s book launch team for The Way Home released by Moody Publishers. This time, instead of a Biblical fiction novel, Tessa has written a 6-week Bible study on a topic dear to her heart: women in Scripture who have found a new beginning and a deep faith. Although I have never met Tessa Afshar in person, I feel she is a kindred spirit in so many ways, and is dear to me!

​When I discovered she was drawn to Jane Austen and Charlotte Brontë, I had part of the reason. The other part you will find in the videos and interview below. Enjoy and be blessed!

The Inspiration to Write
​

— Tessa, what inspired you to write, “The Way Home”? What was the most difficult part of writing it?

Seven years ago, while researching In the Field of Grace, a novel I wrote based on the book of Ruth, I realized that this deceptively simple story gives us an incredible insight into the redeeming grace of God. It reveals the power of the Lord at work in the daily life and toil of ordinary people. I knew then that one day I wanted to delve deeper into the book of Ruth.

Perhaps the most difficult part of this study was the context. The events of the book of Ruth take place during the era of Judges. To truly understand Boaz, Naomi and Ruth, we have to understand their times. And the book of Judges makes for a hard study. Everyone does what is right in their own eyes. Everyone fails, from the religious leaders to the political and military powers, right down to ordinary men and women. And what is perhaps most difficult, is that we see ourselves in these people, making similar mistakes.

Unfortunately, so true, Tessa!

Biblical Inspiration for the Author's Journey
​

— If you could be any Biblical character found in your novels, which one would it be, and why?

This is a hard one! My characters go through a lot of pain before finding deep joy. I think I might choose either Ruth or Lydia. Ruth left her home only to find her true home. Her ultimate destiny. And Lydia found success in the world but still had the eyes to recognize that she needed Jesus. I think those are two of the most important things in our lives. That we realize how badly we need Jesus, and that we cling to God so closely that he opens the doors to our ultimate destiny on this earth.

— If you could travel anywhere in the world, where would it be? Why?

Eden? I long to visit the place where it all started. Where there is no pain, no sorrow, no sickness, no beauty marred, no shame.

Ahhhh, that would be wonderful, Tessa! So encouraging to know that Heaven will be our home someday!

— Do you have a favorite Bible verse, Tessa? And if so, why is it your favorite?

Right now, it is probably a word rather than a verse. The last word in the book of Ruth. It’s actually a name. The book of Ruth starts with a famine. It starts with hunger and lack and death. It ends with a person. That person is David, Ruth’s great grandson. The original readers of this story would instantly have recognized the promise contained in that name. David was the first king to unite the twelve tribes. The first to cast out the enemies of Israel so they stopped pillaging and burning their harvest. His name was synonymous with God’s provision and sufficiency. But for those of us who live under the New Covenant, the name of David points to an even greater reality. It points to the “Son of David”, the coming Messiah. We know his name. Jesus. And Jesus called himself “the Bread of Life.”

The book of Ruth starts with death. But it ends with an allusion to the resurrection and the Life. It starts with a famine, but ends with the Bread of Life who provides for every hunger and lack we may have ever experienced. It’s as if by its simple structure, God is reminding us that there is no famine in our lives that he cannot provide for through his Son.

That truth is so comforting, Tessa!

An Author's Writing Process
​

— Tell us a bit about your writing process? Do you have a schedule? Where and when do you write?

I have a writing room with big windows. I generally write at my desk, though sometimes, I push aside the books that inevitably sit piled on the sofa, and settle down with the computer on my lap. I am more organized when I am under deadline. In the mornings, I grab my tea, have a time of prayer, and write until I meet my word count for the day. But generally, my schedule is more flexible, including a lot of correspondence, research, and reading.
​
What a perfect way to being a writing session, Tessa! God's Word is inspiring, as you obviously know. ;-}
​Thanks so much for this opportunity to join you and your readers, Jarm. It’s been an honor to hang out with you. You always bring so much joy and kindness wherever you are.

Awwww, thank YOU, Tessa! And I look forward to the day we meet in person, and I can give you a big hug!
Before we end, I want to share a short bio from Tessa Afshar's website below. I encourage you to check it out! And a former blogpost relating to her latest novel,Daughter of Rome.

Tessa Afshar's Short Bio:

"I was born in the Middle East to a nominally Muslim family, and lived there for the first fourteen years of my life. When my parents divorced, I moved to England where I survived boarding school for girls and fell in love with Jane Austen and Charlotte Bronte. I’ve always enjoyed reading, but in my teen years in England I became a true lover of fiction.

I decided to go to college in the United States, where I have lived most of my life, and have the privilege of calling this country my earthly home. My conversion to Christianity in my twenties changed the course of my life forever. But that’s a story for another time. . .
​
Through all these losses and changes, God has taught me some precious truths, and this, in part, is why I write.

You will be mesmerized as you watch the video below of Tessa's journey. It will touch your heart and bring tears to your eyes. The soul of an author speaks!

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