Blue Ridge Mountain Christian Writer’s ConferenceThe Blue Ridge Mountain Christian Writer’s Conference has been in my rearview mirror for a month now. Wow. I had quite a different experience than I did two years ago. Why? Mostly because my attitude changed. Or maybe, it was just the right time to move forward. Either way, I am grateful—for many reasons. The venue was stunning as you see above. Although it rained every day of the 5 day conference, occasionally the clouds would part and allow us to view the mountain range. Despite the rain, the attendee's hearts were expectant and joyful as they interacted with fellow writers, staff, agents, and editors. There were various reasons why each of us were present. Some hoped to win awards. Others had been praying for an agent to represent them, or an editor to publish their work. Just a chance for someone to notice their creative efforts would be appreciated. Others had come to present a class or workshop. Then there was the bookstore, full of published dreams for hopeful writers to read. This Year at BRMCWC Was DifferentI wasn't overwhelmed. Well, maybe a bit the first day. But a guardian angel (a fellow attendee) walked me along a path from the auditorium to the cafeteria then to Mountain Laurel, where those all-important 15 minute appointments with agents, editors and seasoned authors were held. Not only did it help me get from place to place quicker, but the path was shielded from the rain. Yay! This was a blessing since my head shot appointment was on the rainiest day of all! Christina Custodio made me feel beautiful and relaxed—the key to great photos. But let’s not forget the skills of the photographer. They are no light matter. Below is my ID mug shot. Even that one turned out well without touch up! What Does a Week at a Writer’s Conference Look Like?Although I submitted my nonfiction work-in-progress for my silver-haired sisters, Flourishing & Fragrant, to the Foundations Awards (for unpublished works), I did not win. When I discovered there were over 700 entries, and only approximately 150 winners, I was not disappointed. I also was relieved I didn't need to make that journey up and down the stage and back to my seat. But I was ready, just in case. When one of the agents I had singled out to meet with did not come to the conference, my heart sank. But I reminded myself at that moment, that God was still in control, and He had a reason. I needed to trust in His sovereignty. Soon, I was at peace. Thankfully, I did my homework ahead of time, and narrowed my choices down to three: two agents and one editor. But, the next morning, my guardian angel came to my rescue again and suggested I see another editor I had not considered, who had been added in at the last moment—and she had an appointment available. So, I signed up! I want to mention here that for those writers just getting their toes wet in the publication waters, visiting an agent or editor is not recommended. Seasoned authors can give you insights into their publishing journey and tips to navigating that confusing and frustrating path. Choosing an author who writes in your genre will be more helpful as he/she can give you specific advice.. Faculty were asked to sit at different tables during lunch and dinner to allow discussion for those who could not get an appointment. God directed me through my Aussie author friend Penny, to sit at her table. But because the only open seat was at the other end, I sat next to an acquisitions editor whom I had not considered. But God was working. In a very natural way, the editor asked what I wrote, so I gave him my one sheet summary of my book, bio and contact info. No fear, no worry, and no expectations. Just peace! What I enjoyed most was interacting with writers at different stages of their journey. Some were seasoned writers and speakers, and others who had a passion to write and were looking for insights and practical help with their chosen genre. There were historical and contemporary fiction authors, devotional and Bible Study creators, and nonfiction writers of all kinds, eager to glean from more experienced authors. We chatted, gave each other encouragement or advice, and exchanged business cards in hopes to stay in touch via social media. Those that had attended the conference gave handy tips on navigating the grounds and schedule for the wide-eyed newbies. Writers met in classes, the Clouds Café, in the elevator and while waiting for the keynote to begin. We were all there for one reason—to grow in the gift God had given us as we determine His next steps. Sometimes that step is publication, navigating that intimidating chore we call marketing, or, quietly writing in our artist’s chair, sensitive to the Holy Spirit’s leading. I was thrilled to find two of my Author Accelerator Book Coaching practicum students at the conference. Lindy (below) is a fellow historical fiction author who placed in the Foundations Awards for her Regency Romance novel from the Vicars & Viscounts Series. Lindy is quite the prolific author and I was proud of her achievement! There are No Guarantees in the Writer’s Life There was a bookstore to peruse, full of books written by presenters and attendees; a fun night of giggles, enjoying writers who paraded across the stage dressed as their chosen genre and an Selah and Foundations awards night for published and unpublished authors. Everyone was given the opportunity to shine. But alas, not everyone did. I'm sure more than one person (me) was disappointed. There are no guarantees in this challenging profession. I remind people of the ‘starving artist’ syndrome, not only a reality in past centuries, but also found today. As I discovered two years ago, having an agent or editor request your proposal or manuscript does not automatically mean your work will be published. But it does mean this: your work caught the interest of someone knowledgable in the field, and wants to see more. That's progress! Hopefully, this blogpost from the Blue Ridge Conference, Beware of the Post-Conference Writing Blues will be an encouragement to you. Where Was the Conference Overwhelm?So where is the overwhelm I mentioned? For me, it was not at the conference. I had peace during all my appointments and truly enjoyed meeting up with agents and editors, knowing they were people too. I could rest in knowing God held my writing future in His hands, and nothing could thwart what He deemed best. My overwhelm came when I returned home with four requests for my two proposals: my middle-grade historical fiction and nonfiction for seasoned women. After sending a thank you email to each one, I began the process of revising my proposals and MG novel, since both agents asked me to add a bit more detail to the proposals which would help in the selection process. In two more weeks, I was ready. The second overwhelm was realizing if both my proposals are accepted, and I am chosen for representation, I will be working full steam ahead for many years to come. That literally stopped me in my tracks. Is this really what I've been praying for? Is this the life I've been wanting? Up to this time, my writing has been done in between the many responsibilities at church and neighborhood, let alone dealing with a body that is slowly deteriorating due to arthritis. But then, I had to remind myself (again) that God is sovereign and will not bring anything into my life that I cannot handle with His strength. I only need to trust. No need to worry. No place for overwhelm. Only peace and contentment. It’s All About JesusThese miniature images of Jesus were planted all over the conference grounds in nooks, crannies and crevices. The 'instigator' of these images wanted the conference attendees to be reminded of the fact that Jesus is with us wherever we go. And He has a unique plan for each of us. Are you a writer hoping to find an agent or editor for your precious manuscript? I trust that my words have been an encouragement to you. Never lose hope. God knows the right time to bring your writing gift to the world. While you are waiting, consider writing devotionals to inspire your readers with God’s grace and mercy. How Can I Help You?Here is a link to a list of Christian Writer’s Conferences for your perusal. I would highly recommend that you attend one at least every other year if possible. Many have scholarships for those who cannot afford the fee, but are serious about their writing.
If you are struggling in your writing journey, let me know below how I can help. At best, I can pray for you!
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A YA Historical Novel set in the 1950s—the Jim Crow EraI admire perseverance. Especially when it comes from a seasoned writer. Carol Baldwin is one of those. Her debut novel, Half-Truths, took 18 years of hard writing and editing before it caught the eye of a publisher. And I'm so proud of her! I first met Carol at a Christian writers conference in Greenville, SC. As I chatted with her about the writer’s journey, she invited me to join their blogging team at Write2Ignite, an online organization focused on helping children’s writers move forward in their careers. As I was a middle-grade historical fiction writer, I gained so much insight into the genre and the craft of writing. Little did I know that Carol had a story brewing that would take years to publish (and I'm sure, neither did she). But, she persevered. Growing up as a northern white child in the 60s, I had no idea what was going on in the South. Until I read Half-Truths, I continued to be isolated from the harsh realities of racial prejudice. This well-researched, compelling, and heart-wrenching YA historical fiction follows Kate as she comes to grip with her own prejudices and moves forward to tell the whole truth—no matter the cost! So, I am honored to feature her in my April blog post. Half-Truths has given me a personal in-depth look from the view of a relatable young MC, challenging my prejudices as a new resident of this beautiful state of North Carolina, where the story is set. Young or old, you don't want to miss this hard-to-put-down novel! But first a professional review and the trailer to set the scene. . . Midwest Book Review Half-Truths Q&AJARM: I understand that birthing this book has been a long journey. How long had it taken you? What gave you the idea for writing Half-Truths? Tell me about your research and writing process. CAROL: From beginning to end it’s taken 18 years! I began with the idea of a farm girl who feels like a fish out of water when she moves to the high society neighborhood of Myers Park in Charlotte, NC. I wanted it to be an historical novel because I was curious about the history that no one talks about—the history that figuratively lay under people’s feet as they walked around Charlotte. Unfortunately, my city tends to pull down homes and businesses and put up new buildings without anyone thinking about what used to be there. I suppose you can say I was looking for Charlotte’s forgotten history. I was also curious about what it was like before the civil rights period of the 60’s. I think that both of these answers reflect who I am: a transplanted Yankee who came to Charlotte, NC in 1986. I was the fish out of water in a new city in the South—both of which I knew little about. There were three main sources for my information: books and articles I read, people I interviewed, and places I went to. First, I read about Charlotte, about the 1950s, about the conflict in Korea; about fashion, people, and the news. You name it, I wanted to know my historical setting as well as possible. In the early stages, I read articles from The Charlotte Observer on microfilm. More recently, I’ve read stories archived online which is a lot easier! I also found information in other periodicals and on the internet. Second, I interviewed close to 100 people who lived in Charlotte during the period or had heard stories from family members. Bits and pieces of their stories got woven into mine. Often it was hard to figure out what not to include! Third, I visited places. In the End Notes of Half-Truths, I talk about visiting a former Rosenwald School in Charlotte. The personal stories of the two men I met and a picture on the school’s wall were pivotal in creating my plot. I visited the remains of an African American cemetery less than a half mile away from an upscale mall and restaurants. That cemetery was part of the inspiration for the cemetery scene in Half-Truths. I visited the Second Ward Alumni House and met alumni Vermelle Ely and Price Davis. Over the course of many conversations, they showed me how important their Black high school was to the community and gave me a picture of what life was like for Black teenagers in the 50’s in Charlotte. JARM: Did you run across any stumbling blocks in your research? How did you get past them? CAROL: Early on I decided to follow the example of my friend Kathleen Burkinshaw and use newspaper headlines as chapter titles. That proved to be much more difficult than I anticipated. It took me hours and hours to dig up headlines that matched the content of each chapter. Initially, the story was going to take place in 1953. When I changed it to 1950-1951 I had dozens of headlines that didn’t fit! I also wanted headlines from The Charlotte Post, Charlotte’s Black newspaper, but the paper wasn’t on microfilm or digitalized. I found one headline in a Black newspaper in Chicago that I used. I found the headlines through perseverance. And when I couldn’t find one that fit, I made it up! JARM: What message do you want readers to take away from your book? CAROL: Too often half-truths, prejudice, and harmful ways of thinking and behaving are passed from one generation to the next. This has the potential to build walls between people. The first step towards reconciliation is acknowledging wrongdoing and moving forward with open, respectful communication. The theme of half-truths runs throughout the book. Kate not only uncovers deceptions that have been passed on in her family, but she also comes to grips with her half-truths. Like Kate, We must face the lies we’ve told others or ourselves. Lillian, an important secondary character, is a teenage Black maid who works for Kate’s grandmother. The two girls bond over Kate’s goat, and while building that friendship, Kate frequently stumbles. In a major turning point, Kate alienates Lillian by publicly saying a half-truth about her. It is only when Kate admits what she did and communicates her genuine regret to Lillian that their friendship is reconciled. As the story progresses, Kate discovers secrets about her family’s ancestry. She wants to talk about them to her stern grandmother— the lynchpin in the puzzle—but she’s afraid. At the end of the book, she broaches the topic as the two plant a garden. Kate’s hunch about her ancestry is validated as she breaks through walls that have existed for decades. She is then freer to speak her voice and move forward without debilitating fear. JARM: What advice do you have for those neck-deep in research, wondering if there will ever be an end to the edits and rewrites? CAROL: If you are passionate about your story and have received positive feedback on your project’s feasibility and writing skills—don’t give up! You have to love your story and believe in it to power through countless rewriting and edits. Feel free to take time off to write something (small) to give your mind a break —but realize that to finish your novel, you simply have to keep going. “Butt in chair,” is always good advice! Life Magazine featuring Charlotte Debutantes in 1951. Read Half-Truths to discover the significance of this picture! Book Giveaway!You have until April 30th to enter the giveaway for a copy of Half-Truths. Simply comment on the post below, and tell me what intrigues you about this story. I will draw a name from the responses below, and notify them via email. Make sure you include your email address within the tagline as requested for me to see. The public cannot see your address. Carol Baldwin’s debut YA historical novel, HALF-TRUTHS, (Monarch Educational Services, April 2025) takes place in Charlotte in 1950. She has presented at many educators and writing conferences and is published widely in newspapers and magazines. She co-publishes Talking Story, a newsletter for educators and media specialists. She holds a B.S. in Mental Health and a M.S. in Community Counseling. Before turning to writing for children, Carol published Friendship Counseling: Biblical Foundations for Helping Others and Teaching the Story: Fiction Writing in Grades 4-8. She has been a SCBWI member since before there was an “I” in the name and coordinated the SCBWI-Carolinas blog for many years. When she isn’t writing or blogging, you’ll find her gardening, exercising, or reading books with one of her nine grandchildren. Please connect with her at https://linktr.ee/carolbaldwin . Readers can find the book here:
Amazon Park Road Books. [email protected] (local indie bookstore—order from here and it’ll come autographed!) Barnes & Noble Bookshop It's been a while since I've posted about my middle-grade biblical fiction, The Heart Changer. But February is the perfect month to mention it. I have 50 reviews now (if you are one of my reviewers, thank you!) and have had quite a few interviews both video and written. What an honor! The Heart Changer Q&AHere are a few questions from a Q&A a couple of years back. It gives you a good sense of the book and my reason for writing it: What inspired you to write The Heart Changer? I have a soft spot for kids in the Bible who have no name and backstory, but have made a huge impact on the people around them. With The Heart Changer, Naaman’s wife’s servant girl came to mind from 2 Kings 5. So, I gave Miriam a name AND a feasible backstory! I try to stay as close to the historical account as possible. Since my passion is to ‘breathe new life into the pages of history’ I delight in the ‘what-ifs’ and bring the story to life so children can relate to the Bible characters in a fresh way. Tell us about the themes found in the book. There are many: Hope in the face of despair — The power of forgiveness — God uses our trials to grow us into His likeness — He works all things together for good — Our lives are like a tapestry: we see the tangled underside, but God views it from the top, beautifully woven with purpose and depth. How can this book equip parents to guide their children into a love of God and the Bible? Not only is it a Biblical event found in 2 Kings 5, but its main character is a middle-grader, whose life was full of sorrow and angst, but her heart was changed by God so she could partner with Him on a very important mission that is even named in the NT in Luke 4:27. Kids can see that biblical characters go though struggles just as they do. They can know He loves them, and will use them to make a difference in people’s lives. Kids can be on mission with God! It makes the Bible real to them. Do you know of a middle-grader who seeks to be on mission with God? The Heart Changer will inspire them! What Would My Main Character Say?Here are a few questions from Novel Pastimes Blog that I "asked" my main character, Miriam. What kind of girl was she? In a way, she was very much like me, and looked like my daughter, above. To read the entire set of questions, click on Olivia's image above. What is your heart’s deepest desire, Miriam? I know I can be selfish and hard-hearted at times, especially when it comes to chores. Obedience isn't easy, especially when I have to put aside MY wants and do the things my Ima has assigned to me. Although I love my baby brother, taking care of him is a full-time job. I can't go out and play on the hills with Jonas and my other friends when I’m responsible for him. I wished—no—I prayed I’d learn to be unselfish, not always wanting my own way. But that meant Jehovah God had to discipline me because He loves me. But I wasn't ready for what the future held—how it came about. I wanted my light to shine for Jehovah, no matter where I was, so when I was captured and sold to Naaman, the captain of the Syrian army, I learned the hard way. But, in the end, I made a difference in my master’s household. They now believe in the one true God! What are you most afraid of? Losing my family and my home has been my greatest fear. They meant more to me than anything —well, except for our Abba Father in Heaven! But I held onto hope in those dark days of captivity. I discovered if you have hope, you have everything you need! Do you know of a middle-grader who needs a dose of Hope? It's a perfect gift for Valentine's Day! Here are a few images relating to The Heart Changer and my book launch in 2019. . . The Heart Changer TrailerHave you seen the trailer for The Heart Changer? If not, click on the arrow below: The Heart Changer is Now On Audible!Click on the image below to find the audiobook. It's well narrated and captures the story beautifully! The Heart Changer ReviewsTestimonies like these (above and below) make the challenging journey to authorship well worth it! Why Do I Write?Well, it's surely not for fame and fortune. I would be sorely disappointed! No, it's for the opportunity to encourage and inspire young minds with historic and biblical characters who, because they had courage to do what was right, can be heroic examples to follow. Even the most ordinary kid can make a difference in the world with the help of God. An Inspiring Book for the Middle-grader in Your LifeValentine's Day is a good excuse to get a good book in the hands of a middle-grader who loves history, adventure and an inspiring story that will stick with them for a long time. The Heart Changer will help them to see the account of Naaman's wife's servant girl from 2 Kings 5 in a whole new light! Click on the image above to order The Heart Changer. Question: Which book did you find inspiring as a young reader? Or how about now? Read any books lately that have inspired you to live a more faith-filled life? Let me know in the comments below, or reply to this email.
HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY! Lanhydrock Country House“The Lanhydrock estate has a fascinating history that encompasses wars, political scandals and a fire that devastated large parts of the house.” - quote from www.nationaltrust.org.uk/ I couldn't have said it better myself. Touring this estate took the good part of a day, even as we were barred from sections under construction during our visit. One thing I love about historic houses, is the ability to eavesdrop on a era gone by, and catch a glimpse of what life was like centuries ago. This home, owned by the Robartes family dates back three hundred years. Although most of what we toured was from the 1800s. In some ways, life was simpler—for the upper class. But it was just the opposite for the servants. There were a few conveniences but on the whole, day to day living was, well, a chore. Below are a few photos of the living quarters inside this spacious country house. Life in a Cornwall Country HouseThe living quarters were well-appointed, and I took note of the bright, colorful environment for the children, which would have enticed them to follow their creative bent. Enjoy these images below. . . The Vast Gardens of Lanhydrock HouseOf course, with every country house in the UK, there is sure to be expansive gardens, and Lanhydrock is no exception. Feast your eyes on these lovely grounds. I Couldn't resist a Cornish PastyNo, I couldn't. Even though I'm gluten and dairy-intolerant, I could not resist a quintessential mainstay of a miner’s lunchbox that is easy to eat with one hand without utensils (if none were available). I mean, how could I visit Cornwall without this tasty treat? Well, my knees soon told me it was a bad idea. They swelled, and I had a tough time walking back the half mile to the entrance of the park. Lesson learned. Trebah Gardens of Cornwall“Trebah Garden is a sub-tropical paradise with a stunning coastal backdrop. One of the Great Gardens of Cornwall and rated among the 80 finest gardens in the world.” - quote from https://www.trebahgarden.co.uk/ Not much else I can say about this stunning garden. We wandered down paths and across bridges for a couple of hours, enjoying the beauty of summer flowers. The Hydrangeas were in full bloom -- some as large as my face! The photos below say it all. Trebah Beach in WW2“During World War II the beach would have looked somewhat different with 7,500 US soldiers leaving for Normandy for D-Day in June 1944.“ quote from https://www.cornwalls.co.uk/ Hard to believe a beach extending from a lovely serene garden could play a part in conquering the enemy in that hard-fought war! You can read about the details of this historic event below. Cornwall Captured My HeartCornwall certainly made a deep impression on me. I can see why British citizens looking for a quieter life away from the big cities find their home in this spectacular county. Not only is it surrounded by the ocean and has plentiful beaches, Cornwall is known for its artist communities. Who wouldn't be inspired to paint, draw, or recreate these scenes in every possible media? Taking a Break From My Writing RoutineLast month I had robotic total knee replacement, and although I am doing well, it has caused me to slow down a bit and take a break from my normal writing routine, and thus I will be blogging every other month.
I am writing a book tentatively titled: Flourishing and Fragrant: Living an Abundant Life in Your Silver Years with Joy and Purpose. It's been slow going, since so many things are getting in the way. In the coming months, I want to concentrate on writing my third chapter, and also create a digital course on the topic. I'd like to know how many of my readers are in that category, and are struggling with the changes aging brings. If so, I want to hear from you! Tell me what your biggest challenge is in this season of your life. I'd also like to know if you would benefit by more blogposts on finding joy in the journey of aging. Does a digital course interest you? Let me know in the comments below! Poldark’s TruroAhhh, finally we get to the setting for the series, Poldark—a British army officer who returns home to Cornwall from the American War of Independence. He discovers to his dismay that his sweetheart, thinking he was dead, is engaged to Ross’s cousin Francis. The rest of the tumultuous story continues from there. If you've never watched the series on PBS, (www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b07pn8mz/episodes/player) I highly recommend it. Of course, the setting is stunning. Truro, a setting in Seasons 1 & 2, is actually Charlestown, a port village near St. Austell on the south coast. I'll post a number of pics below. I felt as though I was stepping back into the 18th century! Seaside Town of FoweyMy friend, Melanie and I were ready for dinner, so I Googled “best places to eat near Charlestown” and found a few. We perused online menus (since we were on Keto diets and I had to avoid dairy) and found the charming harbour town of Fowey (pronounced “Foy”) where, incidentally, in 1846, Queen Victoria and her dear husband Prince Albert had visited. Evidently they loved to explore, and desired to visit many of the counties in Merry Olde England. Being visible was just as important then as it is now—only in the 1800s there was no television to track their journeys, only word of mouth and a plaque to commemorate the event. Fowey https://www.fowey.co.uk/ was a busy harbor with sailing ships of all types, men of war, fast privateers and slow brigs filled with supplies for Admiral Nelson’s squadrons. By the mid-1800s, smuggling had almost ceased, so says the Fowey tourist guide. Looking out over the River Fowey, we found the Old Quay Hotel, a ‘renovated Victorian townhouse turned hotel.’ The food and the view were not disappointing, and we left satisfied. Enjoy the photos below. . . Our Airbnb in BodminIf you are curious, we lodged in a lovely, secluded ‘Cornish Country Barn’ which was clean, bright and well-stocked with amenities for cooking, hot drinks, and personal care. There were many special touches that made this place a restful home away from home, not to mention its location in the center of Cornwall. Click on the image above for the link. There are more pics below: My Big EventI have two more locations to share with you, but, since I am off to the operating room (not really a destination, but. . . ) for robotic knee surgery on September 26th (prayers appreciated), I’ll leave the best for the last. Well, all our points of interest were visit-worthy, really. The two coming up next month could have won the ‘garden of the year’ award. So, as summer turns to fall, you might enjoy these in October. I’ll give you a peek down below. Stunning, isn't it? Some of those hydrangea blossoms were as large as my face! Until next time, let me leave you with this verse from Ecclesiastes 3:11. . .
“He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also, he has put eternity into man’s heart, yet so that he cannot find out what God has done from the beginning to the end.” All these beautiful things in life are pointing us to God, the Maker of all things. Only He deserves our praise! Cornwall’s Rugged CoastlineIt's been awhile since I've traveled out of the US, so I was thrilled (although I had been to England four times) to see Cornwall, “home” to Poldark and friends. This trip was a dream come true! Along with my dear friend, Melanie, who lives a three-hour drive away, we explored many of the major tourist areas recommended by those who either lived or had visited Cornwall—and we were grateful for their recommendations. We didn't waste a bit of time!
The image above doesn't do the Cornwall Coast justice. Located at Land’s End landsend-landmark.co.uk, it's rocky, rugged, and wild all in one. And part of the southern coast, affected by the Gulf Stream has a subtropical climate where succulents and palm trees flourish. Who would have guessed? Below you can see the location of Cornwall www.visitcornwall.com/film-and-tv in reference to the rest of England. There are more beach areas on the northern coast, which has its own charm. Besides a few hours inside shops and restaurants, most of our four day trip was spent outdoors. As an extra blessing, the weather was sunny and warm the entire week. Unheard of in the UK! Grieving An Empty NestToday I am honored to feature an interview with Edie Melson, a prolific author and speaker whose wealth of knowledge offers timely tips for writers. I look up to her for many reasons. Edie is a talented writer and photographer with a great sense of humor. But, most importantly, she is transparent—unafraid to admit mistakes so others can benefit. She also knows the source of wisdom: God and His Word. Many parents of young adults have mixed thoughts as their fledglings leave the nest. For some, it's been an easy transition, but for others, like Edie, it was a challenge. Thankfully, she has found a way to make peace with her nesting status and move forward, seeing the good in allowing her offspring to soar. Soul Care When the Nest is Empty is the fourth in her Soul Care Series. More can be found here at her website here: https://ediemelson.com/books/ Let's find out more about Edie Melson's latest publication, and the circumstances surrounding its writing. Edie, I know you’ve experienced the empty nest season. Please tell us a little about it . . . We have three sons and our oldest decided to push me into the empty nest season the hard way. He went straight from high school graduation to Marine Corps boot camp, to two tours in Iraq as a frontline infantry marine and bomb dog handler. There was no grace period of sending him to college with weekend visits. Because I survived that, I thought the other two empty nest seasons would be a walk in the park. After all, how bad could it be after that. (Trust me, that’s never a question you want to ask.) Our middle son was so independent when he went to college, he refused monetary help and ended up living in his truck—in a fast-food parking lot for Wi-Fi access. Our youngest decided to become an adventure guide and spent many months climbing mountains around the world (including Nepal, Peru, and China). But I did survive all three—and made all the mistakes along the way. God is faithful. When He removes something, He fills the spot with something else. I’ve seen again how all of God’s gifts work together to bring us closer to Him. -Edie Melson: Soul Care When the Nest is Empty Parenting is a ChallengeYou brought it up. What were some of the mistakes you made and how can we avoid them? I think the biggest mistake was being too hard on myself. I thought if I was a better mom, better Christian, stronger person, I’d not be such an emotional wreck. Judging yourself like that is never a healthy thing. Emotions aren’t good or bad, they just are. It’s how we deal with them that can be a problem. At first, I tried denial. Then I moved on to anger at myself. Finally, I retreated. None of these is healthy. I also judged my process by looking at other people. None of us is given the same path to walk in this life. And the majority ofwhat each of us experiences in under the water—like an iceberg. We just can’t know how things are for others just by looking from the outside. Empty Nest Struggles & SolutionsSo what should we do when we struggle with this season? Take everything to God. I know that’s a pat answer, but it’s true. So often we think God is judging us and that we somehow musthave it together—at least a little bit—before we approach Him. I also made the mistake of thinking that because God knows everything—the beginning from the end—that He’d think my struggles were useless and meaningless. But the truth is—God does care. When I was wrestling with this, God reminded me of the tears Jesus shed while He was here on earth. And God reminded me that He experienced the ultimate empty nest when God sent His only Son out of Heaven and down to earth as a sacrifice for us. I quit avoiding God after that morning prayer time. Parents face their own sunsets. But we need to hold tight to the truth that sunset is just a precursor to a beautiful sunrise—the next step in parenting and that step will bring beauty in ways we have yet to experience. —Edie Melson: Soul Care When the Nest is Empty Releasing Fear with PrayerWhat other things have you found helpful to work through all the emotions of this empty nest season? Can you share some from your book? I think one of the biggest things is to give ourselves time to grieve the changes. Yes, it’s an exciting time for our kids, but it’s also challenging. And this time is an ending as well as a beginning. It’s hard to move forward without processing that end. In the book, I break down some of the big things into chapters. Things like Fear, Sadness, Joy, Changes, and New Possibilities. Each of these chapters has five devotions, five prayers, and five creative exercises. In chapter one, Releasing Fear, I talk about how I learned to trust the roots God had used me to help nurture in our kids. We can trust those roots to keep our kids anchored when they’re out in the world. To go along with that thought, I shared my Five-Fingered Prayer. I ask those reading the book to draw an outline of a hand, and label each finger with a specific type of prayer prompt: Pointer Finger: Priority Middle Finger: Discovery Ring Finger: Remembrance Little Finger: Peace Thumb: Foundation When you begin to pray, make a fist from your own hand. Beginning with your thumb, release each digit and say a prayer using that specific prompt. When you’re done with each finger, you’re left with an open hand, symbolizing you’re releasing your child into God’s care. We Can Trust God!Any last words you want to share with us? Give yourself grace. Each of us deal with this season differently. Beyond that, we deal with the empty nest of each child differently. Stay anchored to God. We can trust that He will bless us and our kids with exceeding abundance, often in ways and at times when we least expect it. I encourage us all to stop waiting to be ambushed by blessings and instead adopt an expectant attitude—looking for all God has for us. Thanks so much, Edie, for your wise words that encourage us to “stay anchored.” Below is the cover copy of this hopeful and insightful book: Back Cover Copy: The Empty Nest experience varies widely from person to person and even child to child. Some parents cry and others celebrate. You may face crazy emotions—good and bad, happy and sad, and everything in between. None of these emotions are wrong. Edie Melson shows you how to turn to God for help. He may not provide the answer to why, but he always walks through the valleys with you, and he orchestrates everything our kids need. Reconnect with God using your tactile creativity. Discover your Soul Care solutions using devotions and prayers and opportunities for creative expression. Warning! This book may become dog-eared and stained. Draw in it. Experiment with your creative passions. Learn the healing power of play. Allow God’s power to flow through creativity. Soul Care When the Nest is Empty will become your heart treasure. Edie Melson has walked through the empty nest season several times and in several ways—from sending a son off to war at 18, to sending another off on a round-the-world mountain climbing trek. With each situation she’s been quick to share how God is faithful in all ways and at all times. Edie uses the truths God has taught her as a mother, wife, photographer, and author to encourage others. She’s learned to embrace the ultimate contradiction of being an organized creative. As an author, blogger, and speaker she’s empoweredand challenged audiences across the country and around the world. Her numerous books reflect her passion to help others call on God’s strength during challenging times, often using creativity to empower this connection. She also knows the necessity of Soul Care and leads retreats, conferences, and workshops around the world on ways to use creativity to help strengthen our connection with God. She and husband Kirk have been married 42+ years with three grown sons and three grandchildren. They live in the foothills of the Blue Ridge Mountains and can often be found with their big black dog hiking the mountains. Connect with her at ediemelson.com and through social media. Does your home seem void of joy because you are facing an empty nest? Have your young adults left the nest sooner than expected? What part is the most difficult for you? Let me know in the comments below!
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Good News!My MG Biblical fiction "The Heart Changer" debuted in 2019 with Ambassador International. Categories
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